Fading Affliction
by Bless the Broken Road
Summary: And just like that, the god and the weight of Alexis' world was dust in the ground. Every delusion she harbored in her brain was hit with a cold reality just as his ashes hit the bottom of his eternal resting place. A father is possibly the most important person in a girls life. She yearned to be in his arms, and to hear him whisper "I love you", and, "It will be okay".


Kate grasped Alexis' hand as she felt bereavement pulse through her. It wasn't that they had grown closer, but rather they both had lost the man they loved.

Alexis couldn't cry. She had that ugly, awful, gut wrenching feeling of being tear-less. She yearned to cry, to let some grief that was so heavy on her chest fall out onto her cheeks. Her mother had bought her waterproof makeup for the funeral.  
_I suppose I didn't even need waterproof,_ Alexis thought to herself bitterly.  
She just didn't believe it. She wasn't fathoming that he was gone at all. She knew he was dead. My dad is dead. My dad is dead.  
If the poor girl had a bouquet of flowers for every time someone had said, "He's still with you, in your heart", she would...oh wait, she already had about a million flowers from sympathetic friends and family.  
_My dad is dead. My dad was cremated.  
_She kept reminding herself of the facts, yet she couldn't wrap her head around it. Were those ashes actually her dad's body? The pastor read from the Bible, and Martha said a few words about her son followed by more tears.

So many tears. So much pain.

_ Why don't I feel any of it?_ Alexis thought.  
Then the pastor poured the ashes into the dirt.  
Ashes to ashes.  
And just like that, the God and the weight of Alexis' world was dust in the ground. Every delusion she harbored in her brain was hit with a cold reality just as his ashes hit the bottom of his eternal resting place. A father is possibly the most important person in a girls life. To just be in his arms, and to hear him whisper "I love you" or "It will be okay". To see him in the crowd as she received a diploma. That proud smile. Those loving eyes. Just everything she wanted was in the ground.  
In that moment, the absolute searing anguish hit her right in the stomach, and knocked the wind out of her. A sympathetic hand was placed on her shoulder, but she pushed it away, trembling.  
Martha cupped some dirt in her hands and poured it into the grave. Kate hesitantly approached the grave as Martha beckoned her forward, motioning to the dirt. The two women exchanged a grieved and knowing glance as the young widow sprinkled the moist dirt onto her husbands remains. She pressed her lips to a locket and clutched it to her heart before letting it fall into the hole in the ground.  
"Alexis?", Martha softly beckoned her over.  
Alexis shook her head, her face scrunched up in loss.  
"I'm sorry...I...can't." She whispered, shaking her head frantically.  
She needed to leave this. She needed to leave the misery. The loss. The hopelessness.  
It was excruciating.

* * *

That night she lay in her bed, wide awake.  
Agony wasn't a word large enough to describe the emotion coursing through her. She wanted to scream, but her voice seemed small and lost. She kept imagining her dad walking through the door to envelope her in a hug.  
That's what she needed, a hug. Just one hug from her daddy. Just one.  
_Does this sadness have a name?_  
After hours of seemingly endless tears, the young girl finally gave in to fatigue. Her eyes red and puffy, her hair a greasy disaster, her fathers sweater covering her body snugly, and her pillow moist from tears.

* * *

Alexis stood in a white dress, a bag in hand. Looking around, she realized she was in a train station. She had no recollection of how she had gotten there or what time it was. She peered around the station to see it was empty except for a man who appeared to be reading a map on the wall. He looked frustrated as he brushed an anxious hand through his hair.  
Alexis peered at him, her head tilted to get a better view of his expression. The man turned around and, after seeing the young girl, melted into pure adoration which only a daughter can cause and only a father can experience.

"Daddy?",she whispered, tears springing up in her eyes.  
Her throat tightened up. Tears welling in her eyes, and she felt the first tear roll down her cheek, followed by an out-pour. She dropped her bag, she dropped her affliction. Her pace quickened as she ran towards her father.

Chest light, heart heavy, arms open.

He smiled peacefully, opening his arms to receive his baby girl.  
She crashed into his arms and buried her head into his chest, sobbing passionately and deeply. Her sobs grew louder, but more relieved and joyful. He closed his eyes, feeling the moment. If he could only grasp it tangibly and lock it in his heart.  
The moment was only a dream. The moment was fleeting. Yet the moment was more real and raw than any moment the father and daughter had shared.  
Alexis relished in it with every ounce of her being as her father held his baby girl, bidding his final farewell.

* * *

**A/N:** Thank you for reading. I hope you enjoyed this one-shot, although it is painful. Please review and let me know if I did the situation justice.


End file.
